I suppose that this was a long time coming. But I have done it… I have come to terms with saying “goodbye” to Bobbi. I am simply at wit’s end, and can go no further. I have made attempt after attempt to try to bring her back into my life, but it seems for naught. Each time she’s here, she invariably leaves again. There is never a word of reason, or a warning, she simply is gone. I had hoped beyond hope that this time it would be different. She made a simple post of “I’m proud of you” on my Facebook wall, and that was it. I attempted to elicit a conversation from her, twice, and it was never reciprocated. I had an amazing dream the other night, and she was in it. It was upon waking, and going to view her profile, that I noticed that we weren’t “friends” anymore. It was at that moment that I knew my reserves had been exhausted. I would still love nothing more than for us to be the friends we were before, but I can no longer be the initial catalyst in that any more. I cannot keep extending my hand in hopes, only to find it randomly barren. I will not, would not, and could not, deny her were she to extend a hand in friendship again; she simply meant to much to me to truly forfeit the towel. But I simply no longer possess the energy to continue extending my own without solicitation. These last two weeks have been especially straining on me, and perhaps it is that strain that finally allowed me to realize where my limits are.
Bobbles, I don’t know if you read, or had ever read, any of these. But I love you, girlie. You were my closest friend, and my anchoring spirit when my world was chaos. You had a clam reason to the insanity you lived, and you encouraged me to look at things from angles I would have never fathomed. I loved who I was when I was around you, and I will forever cherish the moments I got to watch you blossom into the amazing mother that you are. I miss you more than I ever thought I could miss someone, and I likely always will. The moon will forever remind me of you, and that night, and I stand fast in my belief that no one else will ever hold that lofty pedestal within my heart and mind. I love you Bobbi, in a way I didn’t know was possible. I hope that you have a truly amazing life, and raise Jace to be the kind and loving man that one would expect from someone as amazing as you.